RANDALL’S LEGACY:
IN A WORLD WHERE YOU CAN BE ANYTHING,
CHOOSE TO BE KIND.

“Hello beautiful.” When I close my eyes I can still hear those words spoken in Randall’s voice as an answer to my phone calls.  At times I felt a sense of pride to hear him say these words to his girlfriend in response to her call.  The words were sweet and genuine but the message was that he valued us and wanted us to feel special.  He had a similar affect on his grandparents, as he would often call them at age twenty “just because.”

I can see Randall with his arms around the scores of friends who were drawn to him for his ability to make them feel their importance in his life.  I can close my eyes and imagine Randall on the last tennis practice of his life as he ran by his brother at The Reeves Tennis Center gently brushing his brother’s hair as he passed him in Walker’s freshmen workout at Wofford.  Walker by this time was on campus as one of his teammates again and trying to make the line – up. This was one of many “love taps” Walker received from Randall.  Little did we know it would be the last one and on a tennis court.   We hang onto those moments shared with Randall as priceless treasures.  Priceless because they cannot be bought only shared.

There has not been a day since Randall left us that my heart has not spoken of him and not a day that I have not had to go to God in prayer to control the immense grief that comes from losing a child at age twenty.  In Randall’s eulogy our minister referenced “all these caps and gowns that I felt compelled to wear” as both Mother and Father as a single parent.   I have come to realize that between losing the love of my life in Randy, my husband to cancer and losing my son, Randall, if they gave academic degrees in grief I would have a Ph.D.  It is a journey whose destination is the day in which we are united again with our loved ones in Heaven.

I want to share with you a story. One day early in my grief I was crying inconsolably sitting in the chair in my living room.  Walker had returned to school and I was alone with my thoughts.  Honestly, it was a day when I don’t think had someone been there it would have made a difference.  I was just grieving and suddenly I felt Randall’s presence as if he bounced through the door as he often did and the message from God was clear “if you don’t stop mourning me you are going to miss the chance to celebrate who I was in life. “ It was as if the words were spoken in a language that only a parent could understand.  You see as a parent one of your greatest fears when you lose a child is that they will be forgotten or their life will have lost meaning because they died too young to fully develop a life worthy of remembering.  And, while I thought I heard the message of that still voice speaking to me on that day it could not stop the tears.  And so, I felt Randall’s presence frustrated with me much like we all have been frustrated in that parent/child relationship at some point. As I felt Randall’s presence leave me he said, “I have to go.  I have work to do.”  And, it was at that moment that I stopped crying and for the first time since his death I realized that while life here on earth had ended Randall really did still live in a life with our Lord and Savior in Heaven.  And, from that point I began to visualize what it must be like in Heaven and just what Randall’s job might be.  I envision that Randall is a greeter, part of the ‘welcoming committee”, that first glimpse of unbridled love as folks enter Heaven.  I imagine he’s the guy much like he was on this earth that just made things good by his actions and his words and sometimes just by the way he made us feel.  And so, once I knew he was fine and his eternal life continued as promised with purpose I could begin to celebrate who he was in his twenty years of life here on earth.

That brings me to the mission of The Randall Heffron Foundation.  I spoke to a parent recently and she said to me “you know, the problem with the deaths of these young people is we as parents never seem to have any resolution or closure.” I had never really thought about it in that way but it is true.  The deaths and the circumstances are so horrific and tragic when a young person leaves us too soon that it is almost as if there never will be any closure until we get to Heaven and understand the greater plan.  No matter what the circumstances of the death it is at the end of the day a tragedy.  In many ways, The Randall Heffron Foundation is about resolution and closure for Randall.   Our prayer is that it will also serve as an inspiration to all parents who have lost a child and need to find a voice for that child and their loss.  Randall’s foundation is about leaving the loss of Randall in this life behind and celebrating who he was when he was with us.  The Randall Heffron Foundation was established in Randall’s memory to perpetuate his legacy of kindness and compassion he showed to us in so many ways.

Each life that was touched by Randall has at least one Randall story.  Many of us have an abundance of them.  He meant so many things to so many people.  Tennis was just one part of Randall’s life. He was most at home with his friends. He was that selfless guy who made us better just being with him.  Randall knew fun.  He was genuine, generous with his time and had that infectious smile that still carries us through many days.  He was a man’s man comfortable enough in his own skin to give hugs after handshakes.  All of us who really knew Randall knew that he would have some greater calling or a ministry of sorts outside his life’s work.  He just had that ability to go the extra mile and to see the bigger picture outside of his own life.  It is that part of Randall, his enormous heart for others, that his family hopes to perpetuate with the foundation.

We started the foundation with private funds and each fall JoAnn Lee (College of Charleston Women’s Tennis), Randall’s first Teaching Professional and Coach, hosts a Halloween Fundraiser at the non-profit Creekside Tennis and Swim.  Through a combination of efforts in the spring of 2015 three tennis courts were re-surfaced and are now useable again for the benefit of instruction and recreational enjoyment of children in the Charleston and Mt. Pleasant communities.   Scholarship funds were given from the foundation in 2015 and in 2016 to sponsor lessons and summer camp for children who otherwise would not be able to afford to play the game of tennis. This was the first seed of what we hope will grow into a much larger outreach as resources are available.  On, April 10, 2016,  Randall’s 25th birthday the first annual Randall Heffron Memorial Junior Tennis Tournament wrapped up at Creekside.  Sportsmanship Awards were given from the foundation to remind players of the importance of playing for a greater purpose.  It is our prayer that what started as a small private foundation will serve to encourage players to “get in the game” and stay in the game by keeping the fun in it regardless of their level of play and ability.  The seeds are already expanding into our sponsorship of student athletes that show particular promise in their ability to play college tennis and beyond if developed properly but who without financial support the dream simply is not possible.  In addition to the local efforts the foundation will eventually grow to help those in need globally through providing underserved countries with clean water. We want to feel Randall pushing us to be better through the works of this foundation just as he would could he be here with us. 
 

In life we have many choices.  We must choose wisely how we use our time, talent and resources.  Christ calls us to love in this world, not judge.  Randall did that so well.  He was accepting, humble and most of all he was kind.  I can say with certainty that Randall was exactly the young man God intended him to be and his life most certainly was “a life well lived.”  Let us follow in his example with The Randall Heffron Foundation.  In a world where you can be anything, choose to be kind.

— Robin Heffron, Randall's Mom